Strength Over Skinny: Why Muscle is the Key to Aging Well

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I want to age as I watch(ed) my parents confront aging and mortality.

My dad passed away two years ago, just after turning 78. Neglecting his health in his 40s, 50s, and 60s made his 70s long and difficult. He was effectively confined to his recliner or wheelchair in the final 6 months as he had no muscle strength to draw from. It was awful to witness.

My mom, now just shy of 79, was dealt a shit set of health cards despite taking good care of herself. She was an incredibly “disciplined” eater and never sat down. But the one thing she didn’t focus on was muscle, strength, or bone health—and now, even with her laundry list of other health issues, her frailty stands out the most.

I wish that instead of doing side leg raises at the kitchen counter to target inner thigh fat (spoiler: it doesn’t work), she had been doing bodyweight squats to maintain lower-body strength and protect her bones. But to be fair, that wasn’t the message back then. The message was just to be thin.

For too many decades, women have been taught that smaller is better. Even with the topic of menopause becoming a recent darling of health and wellness, that obsession hasn’t gone away—it’s only evolved. With the rise of GLP-1 agonists like Ozempic, weight loss has never been more accessible. As someone in healthcare, I support these medications as a tool in the right circumstances. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about the long-term consequences for women prioritizing weight loss, especially once we are in the stages of menopause, without simultaneously prioritizing strength training and nutrition to protect their muscles and bones.

Most women lose an average of 3–5% of muscle mass per decade after 30, and the rate accelerates after menopause. This is especially true for those with sedentary lifestyles, those who are chronic dieters, and/or those who focus solely on cardio.

The way we think about our bodies needs to shift. It’s not about size—it’s about composition. Ask anyone in an assisted living community whether they’d rather be skinny or strong, and I’d bet you $1M they’d choose strong.

Prioritizing strength over thinness isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s about independence, mobility, and longevity.

Being strong means being able to get up off the floor after playing with grandkids, carrying groceries without help, and staying out of a wheelchair in our later years. It means protecting ourselves from falls, fractures, and the devastating downward spiral that can follow.

These are the thoughts that consume me right now as my mom is deciding if an independent living community is the best step since she can’t drive anymore. Going with her on tours and seeing the other residents who are on average 4-6 years older, I can’t help but wonder if staying strong might’ve delayed her entrance.

Between my mom and dad, my genetics don’t appear to be ideal for longevity. But I also know that genetics are not necessarily our destiny, and I have time to change my trajectory. And so do you.

So, let’s shift the conversation. Instead of chasing smaller jeans, let’s chase heavier deadlifts. Instead of fearing bulk, let’s fear frailty. Instead of obsessing over losing weight, let’s focus on gaining strength.

Because the goal isn’t just to live longer—it’s to live well. And that starts with choosing strong over skinny, today and every day moving forward. Not because skinny is bad, but because strong is better. 💪🔥